TEN THINGS I LOVE ABOUT NYC.

sweetdoseofsunshine:

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1. Everyone is equal.

This is the first city I’ve lived in where I truly feel a sense of equality. It doesn’t matter what your skin color is, where you are from or what your sexual orientation is. In New York, everyone is treated with the same dignity and respect regardless of superficial…

My current significant other is a christian. People might curse why am I, who they think is a devout muslimah, don’t mind to accept him to my life. We often argued about religion but it’s hone my own faith instead. No one of us provoke to change our religion. Because from the beginning of our relationship, both of us have a principle that religion is about personal preference and it’s not our business. As long as we feel comfortable each other, we don’t mind to dating outside our religion. Oh come on man, u just need a good attitude to be accepted in society. If u have a good attitude, especially can do a greater good, nobody would ask what is ur religion.

(Source: princess.disney.com)

Full Time Housewife, Career Woman, or Both of Them?

Since the beginning, my parents set the rule that all of their kids must prioritize their study. Even when both of them in a lack of money situation, they always make an effort to covering our main needs: avoiding famine, feasible cloths, provide a house in a good codition, and access for a good education, in this case they always struggle to provide access for books. But compared to my brothers, I feel like I’m the only one who got their unfair treatment. When I was in elemetary school, they were always assist me when I was studying. If I can’t do excercise correctly, I get scolded by my father, they also angry if I can’t get 1st rank as if final score and 1st rank are everything. No wonder when semester report announced, that was always the most horror day for me. But I’ve never seen this when my brother did so. I have to say, that’s how I spent my childhood.

But since I was in junior school, my parents seem already made up their mind. They were no longer angry when I got my semerter report result, although I also no longer got 1st rank. Proabably they thought I already mature enough and they feel tired if I have to be assisted, and maybe because I entered best junior school in town and my environment has a role to sharpen my way of thinking. Moreover I graduated with the highest distinction and got into best high school in town, even I could finish my high school 1 year faster than my fellow. Proabably they thought their way in educate me is successful, I also admit that having tiger parents like them can boost me to always be the best. I’m grateful having such that parents because I realized that not all the people could have an access for good education. Although I’m a girl, but I realize that I’m a first kids who have a responsibility to be a role model for both of my youger bro.

My father is a civil servant and his last education is high school, been more than 20 years working, his career is seems like never get promoted. My mother is a full time housewife, her education also until high school. At that time, they could say that graduated until high school was already good regarding that both of them have many siblings and live in the village where access for education was still limited. Because of that, they said “Do your school thingy well, in the future you have to be better than us.” Their utterance implies as if  “you must have clear future, great career, and don’t just be a full time housewife”

When I was entering my college life, the time when I start to live far away from them, I reflect upon what my mum said previously that woman must be independent, well educated, and aspire to having a great career. Currently daily needs are no longer foods, clothes, and home anymore but also how to live in a proper condition, preparing our future kids with a best education, etc. So that’s why women in this modern era obligeed to be more skillfull and less dependance to her husband. Imagine if your husband suddenly fired, sick, or pass away? Who will afford your life and your childern and you aren’t trained for that?

It was 2011 when I was an intern, I just realized that working in a company from 9 to 5 is tiring, we also have to think about overtime work, if we get a traffic jam on the way back home and eventually we come home at night, and if we already tired we can’t do anything else except go sleep. At that time I still ahve a positive thought, proabably I just haven’t trained to do this but I don’t think so because everyday I have a day full class, join organization, having fun with friends, am I not trained enough for work life balance?

And when the internship finish and back to hometown, I saw my mum seems like really busy picking up my bro, drop him off for another course, assist him to finish homework, cooking, washing, facing my dad anger if there is no foods available, being family representative if our neighbour needs another inhabitant favor,  at the same time I thought: If someday I work full time, who will do this housewife job? Who will supervise kids? Who will create a harmony and convenienity at home? But why I have to go to higher education if all of kind this job could be done by elemetary graduate? Should I let my dreams go? If I pad a maid, do you have a big heart if your own kids raised by other people? If they raised by their grandpa/grandma, do you have a big heart to let ur parents enjoy ur retirement peacefully?

My faith teaches that women are allowed to work, but their main responsibility is become a housewife. So, we do know what is our first priority. Currently femisim stated that materiality is the only success measurement meanwhile become a mom is every woman’s nature. Mother if family’s frontliner, because the future of next generation is under mom’s hands, not dad’s, that’s why her position is irreplaceable, her attention to her own kids is can’t buy. Let say if someday my kids do a crime, I don’t wanna regret “why I couldn’t allocate my time more with them?” Nah !

No wonder why woman who live in a feminism countries have a tendency to not get married and have an offspring. Feminism stated that being a full time housewife is like a woman slavery. Another effect is their country has a high divorce rate. For the example is USA where the divorce rate is reaches 50% per 2012 ( source: http://t.co/OUvEkdUY8L) there are so may researches that find it’s difficult to make a balance between at home and workplace. Facing this issue, USA as the pioneer of feminism currently start to raise anti feminism movement because the women finally realized that feminism sacrified their family and all they want for this movement is back to their main role as a housewife. They confess that it’s really difficult to educate their kids.

And now the question is, why we have to go school as high as possible if we have to do our main role as a housewife? Dear, mother is kid’s first school, first doctor, private chef, and family’s manager, they will face an unstopppable exam during her life. People may sacrifice theirself to study in a decades to be a doctor, pharmacist, auditor, and push themself to be a great manager, but mother is more than that. Become a full time housewife is women highest career. A wise man said “educate a man is equal to educate a man, but educate a woman is equal to educate a generation” so don’t hesitate to be a lifetime learner whatever the occupation will be. God commands to His followers to be a lifetime learner in order to get a high degree in His side, not to become wealthy. The purpose of education is not to educate the students to become a science slave but more than that, school is place to sharpen our way to live and forming our way of thinking. I believe that a good school is not measured by international rank but how they can equip a human to have a noble behaviour.

Whether she wants to pursue her carrer or become a fulltime housewife, woman is mandatory to own a high education because excellent childern come from an excellent waman’s womb (Dian Sastro)

Life is about choice, there is no wrong or right choice, they depend on the taker whether they will afford the responsiblity of their own choice. Back again: part-time mother or full-time mother? you decide! 

Our highset respect to you mom, who already sacrifice her whole time without asking back and educate us to be the best in life. I think I will not be who I am today if my mom is not a full time housewife.

Now I’m no longer afraid to dream high, to continue study in best school as I want, no longer afraid if I can’t go extra miles to see the world, and giving my contribution to my homeland. I firmly believe that an excellent kids was born from an excellent women’s womb. If someday somebody ask “why you decide to be a fulltime mom meanwhile you’re a Columbia Univerity graduate?” I’ll definitely answer “ are you jealous of my kids if they educated by an Ivy League graduate?” 

To all the tough mothers on earth, happy mother’s day! 

*when I’m writing this I also trying to convince my mom not to feel low-esteem anymore to her coolest job and give me permission to following her path someday.

Dear J,

Thanks for making my days when we were in Singapore & Beijing. I never imagined before. From day to day, I couldn’t hide my smile. To be honest.
Even it was night, it felt like summer a whole day to me.
You were always there. You were everywhere.
You always come, whenever I think about you.

Every single step we took together, new step, new place, new sight new experience, new story always wait in every sunrise.
You were there sharing your dreams & your life story, but then you were there standing for me, explaining what deep inside.

Some questions started to appear again, then I asked, you asked, I asked, you asked. We argued.
And I trusted every single word that came from your mouth,
I was hoping. Yes, I was hoping.
Felt like all questions were answered clearly.
Your strengths, your weaknesses,
although you were not made confession about it directly, but I could feel it.

You don’t have any idea how much I love to see your smiley face on the train’s window reflection.
You smiled, you laughed, while I was still looking at you.
at the same time, this question came to my mind: who are you?

It was dark, tears on my face.
I didn’t want to leave that place. Because I knew it would ruin the story.
For the first time in my life, I didn’t wanna see sunrise anymore.

Rain was falling. Is it the end?
The more step I took, the more far you were.
But then I keep myself thinking at least it happened: if it’s not happy, it’s not the end.

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For the first time of my life, I never been as sure as this about a man. Although I know that there are so many differences between me and him.

Dec 2011 – Dec 2013. 
Yes. My heart is still for the same person.